For those of you following along, I have been sharing stories of my Mom all month long. It is my way of coping with what was to come… the 5th year anniversary of her death. Today, we gathered as a family, celebrated and remembered her. We usually get together for lunch or dinner, but this year we decided to take a ride to one of her favorite places, the beach!
My Dad, sisters, nephew, my boys and I took a ride down to the West Dennis, MA. As a kid, we use to rent a house there in the summer time. My Dad and sisters still make it part of their summer vacations. Like Mom, we all love the beach. There is something about the ocean that instantly makes us feel better. It is good for the soul. As my boys ran around with a football, I snapped some photos of my nephew and then had a bit of quiet time to reflect. There is so much that has happened over the last 5 years. There have been many milestones. There have been happy times and sad times, all of which have happened without her by our side. One thing is for certain, we as a family have become closer.
These are my people. These are the people that I love fiercely. These are the people, even when we don’t agree or see eye to eye, have my back. If any good came of her death, it was the bond that I have with my family.
Losing a parent is downright awful. Losing a parent in a matter of weeks after learning of a diagnosis was unbearable. I never knew such pain and unless one has gone through it, there is no way one can understand. I am just glad to have made it through another year.
By now, I am sure you all have heard about the college admissions scandal being blasted across the news. Fifty some odd people, including two famous actresses, have been accused of handing out bribes to get their children into college. Well some say, including me, what else is new? This has been going forever. Ever wonder how the majority of children of famous people end up at really good schools? Coincidence? I think not. In any case, I am not writing today to bash wealthy celebrities. I am writing to talk about what the heck are we doing to our kids?
I am a mom of a 17 year old junior in high school. From the time he entered high school, heck even before that, there has been all sorts of talk about what he needs to do because it looks good on college applications. There is pressure for kids to be in honors/AP classes, play a sport every season, volunteer, join a club, get a job and the list goes on and on. The kids put the pressure on themselves, but as parents we seem to do a pretty good job of doing too. Heck, I am guilty of it. The first two years of his high school career was a lot of me telling him what do to. Not just guiding him, but tell him to do A, B & C. I was not letting him figure it out on his own. I was not letting him fall and make his own mistakes. I was doing him a disservice and driving us both crazy in the process! You can read more about what we struggled with here. https://lifeatmyownpace.com/lessons-in-motherhood/
It is no wonder these kids are being diagnosed with anxiety. It is no wonder these kids have such issues problem solving. As parents, we are there every step of the way holding their hand, not letting them fail. If we want to raise self sufficient, productive members of society we need to stop. We need to stop pushing them into doing things they don’t want to do and stop preventing them from failing. It is so much easier said than done. Believe me, I understand. However, in the long run, this is what is best for our kids. I am sure going to try my hardest, are you?
My Mom was funny when it came to clothes and such. Growing up, she rarely spent money on herself. As we got older and starting buying our things, she started to do the same. She would see something that me or my sisters was wearing and go out and buy it. Oh and if it came in multiple colors, she would buy one of each. At any given time, you could check out her clothes line (yes she still used one) and see the same shirt in every color of the rainbow. One day my middle sister came by with a pairs of shoes. They were a type of sandal and she told Mom they were super comfy. Mom went out and bought herself a white pair.
That summer, my parents, kids and I took a week long trip to Washington, DC. We spent 6 days walking about town, taking in all the sites. My Mom wore the shoes everywhere.
She put some serious mileage on those shoes. Upon returning home, my sister, Kristen saw her in them. She said “Oh Jeanne, where did you get those moon shoes?” Well needless to say, we all thought it was funny, but Mom did not. We never saw those shoes again. LOL!
It’s the little stories like this, that help us keep it together during the month of March. This week in particular is rough. She was sent home with hospice this time 5 years ago. However, I am determined to remember the good vs the bad as the 24th of March comes upon us.
Today I are going to talk about Day 6 of our embedded Adventures by Disney (ABD) trip. For those of you that don’t know, an embedded ABD is an Adventures by Disney trip that is done while on a Disney cruise. Instead of booking excursions through the cruise line, all the excursions are done through Adventures by Disney. I highly recommend it and looking forward to doing many more in the future.
The boat docks about an hour and half away from Rome. We were the first ones off the boat, onto the bus and off to our first stop…the Vatican. I was looking forward to visiting Rome, especially the Vatican. I am Catholic and as a Catholic, this is it. This is the where it all happens. There is so much history and power in this tiny little country. With that being said, as beautiful as it was, I was kind of sad that is has become this big tourist attraction. I had always envisioned walking up to it by way of the square. Well.. you don’t. You enter from the back (you do see the old Vatican wall, which is cool) and it is like entering any other museum. Oh and by the way, the square looks so much bigger in t.v.
First, our ABD guides and our local guide took us aside and told us what we would see in the Sistine Chapel. They had a map and pointed out all the different paintings. They did because, no is suppose to speak inside the chapel or take photos. I was disappointed about the photos, but I understood.
However, prior to touring the Sistine Chapel, we walked the museum. It is very lovely and holds so much history. It is also very crowded. You really don’t walked the museum, you do the Vatican Shuffle. There were different rooms that we walked though along the tour. There is a Gallery of the Maps, the Gallery of the Tapestries, the Gallery of the Candelabra and much more. Here are a few shots as we moved room to room.
The last room we were to see was the Sistine Chapel. I wish we could have taken photos. However, the photos probably would not have done it justice. It is simply breathtaking. Prior to going in, I mentioned our guides gave us a bit of history lesson on the chapel and Michelangelo. The chapel was created in 1508-1512. It is named for Pope Sixtus IV. Despite what people think, he did not paint the ceiling lying down. He had special scaffolding made so he could stand. There are over 300 figures painted in the chapel. There are numerous biblical scenes, such as the creations of Adam and Eve, the sacrifice of Noah and the Great Flood. Thousands of visitors tour the chapel each year. It is also where the cardinals meet to elect a new Pope. I encourage you to look online for photos. It is quite remarkable.
After visiting the chapel, it was on to St. Peter’s Basilica. This was another breathtaking work of art. I was hopeful we may run into Pope Francis. He has been known to wander about and meet people. No such luck for us. Inside the Basilica, we saw The Pieta, the statue by Michelangelo depicting Jesus in the arms of his mother after the Crucifixion. My photo does not do this justice either.
After visiting St. Peter’s we had our photos taken and then some time for shopping. From there we had another fantastic lunch. The food in Italy was amazing. Even our oldest, who will not eat pasta here at home, loved it. From there we did a walking tour and saw iconic sights, such as the Trevi Fountain, Piazza Venezia where the Vittoria Emanuele ll Monument is located, ancient Rome, the Roman Forum and the Colosseum.
The Trevi Fountain was another must on my bucket list. While it is beautiful, it was extremely crowded. One has to really push their way to the front to have their picture taken. Of course, we had to throw a coin over our shoulder. This will ensure that we will return to Rome one day.
Our last stop in this incredible city, the Colosseum. This was remarkable. From a distance, it looked fake. It reminded me of a backdrop on a movie set.
The adults and kids split up and the kids did a separate tour that involved gladiator costumes. My oldest did that, but my 13 year old stuck with the adults. In his words, he did not need it to be dumbed down for him. God help me. This kid a something else! Some interesting facts about The Colosseum. It was built in under ten years, mostly by Jewish slaves. Over a million animals and over a half million people died in The Colosseum. Also, The Colosseum had a marble facade and marble seats, however when St. Peter’s Basilica was being built, they took the marble from the Colosseum and used it there. Finally, it is the most visited site in Italy. The Vatican does receive more visitors, but that is not part of Italy. It is its own principality.
All and all, it was a fantastic day in Rome. We saw so much, yet there is still so much to be seen. I am looking forward to heading back in the next few years.
We are just about halfway through March and Spring is a mere 7 days away. For this girl, it can’t come soon enough! After spending time in Florida, I am looking forward to the warmer weather. I am looking forward to seeing green grass, the buds on the trees and the flowers starting to bloom. It is time where summer vacation plans are set in stone and thoughts of longer days makes me happy. With the change of each season, I sit down and make what I call a Seasonal Bucket List. It is a list of all the things I would like to do or see during that particular season. The list is a great way to have some ideas for family time on weekends, a night out on the town or an afternoon with the girls. As I sit here today, here are a few of the things I am putting on my Spring Bucket List.
- Planting flowers around the yard.
- Taking the dog to the beach to play.
- Family day exploring Boston.
- Spending the afternoon on Castle Island.
- Running a few races in the warmer temps.
What about you? What do you want to do this Spring? Put it down on paper, stick it on your fridge and look at it when you need some ideas. Happy list making!
Self-care seems to the be the buzz word these days. There are numerous articles written about it, podcasts that speak of it and whole books dedicated to the topic. I have to admit, at first I ignored it. I thought, who has time for that? I am a working mom, with a husband, two kids, a dog, two cats and a household to run. I will have time for that when they grow up, move out, etc. I am sure many of you have had the same thought. Well I am here to tell you, LISTEN UP, by incorporating self-care into your life, you suddenly have more energy to do the things listed above and you are a HAPPIER, yes I said HAPPIER, wife, mom, employer, etc.
First, what is self-care? According to the the dictionary it is “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health or the “practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress. ” This means different things for different people. My idea for self-care could be very different than your idea of self-care. What makes me happy, improves my health or helps me deal with stress looks different than my husband’s. I make it a priority to incorporate self-care each and every day. Some days it is 10 mins, other days it is longer. Some days it is reading a great book for 10 mins, other days, it is a 10 mile run. I schedule a massage every month and really working on getting more sleep. Below are some ways you can incorporate self-care into your day.
- Wake up 15 mins earlier each day and enjoy some quiet time. Journal about how you want your day to go or meditate.
- Take a walk outside. Just 10 mins of being outside can lift our mood and energize us for the rest of the day.
- Take a bath. I recommend using some epsom salt with lavender.
- Read a good book. Take 15 mins and read a chapter or two.
- Treat yourself to a massage or a mani/pedi.
- Exercise and make sure it is something you enjoy.
- Find a hobby and carve out some time each week to dedicate to the hobby.
- Limit social media. Much of social media is a highlight reel of our lives. Studies have shown it can cause others to feel bad about themselves and have negative thoughts.
- Sleep! This is one I struggle with, yet it is so important. I have been trying to up my bedtime by 10-15 mins. Some nights are easier than others.
I hope these suggestions help. When we take time to refill our cups, everyone in our lives benefit from it.
Last month, my the boys and I went to Disney World for 10 days. The purpose of the trip was two-fold, vacation and to attend the Princess Half Marathon weekend. By no means was this our first trip to the World. The boys have been going since they were toddlers. Admittedly, not all trips are like what Disney portrays in their commercials. Kids get grumpy and tired. The crowds are huge. They may not have a reaction we expect or want when seeing a character for the first time. The list goes on. However, over the years I have learned to adjust, make some changes to how we approach the parks, where we stay and how much to push my kids. This trip I put what I have learned into action and both kids said this was our best Disney trip yet.
- Involve them in the planning. Ask them where they want to eat, what Fast Passes they want, what parks they would like to spend the most time in, etc.
- Stay at a hotel that is a good fit for your family. I have teenagers and we need to spread out a bit. We tend to stay at the deluxe resorts, in the DVC sections, as the rooms are bigger. If your kids love a swimming pool, stay at the hotel that was an awesome pool and pool activities.
- Think outside of the box and take advantage of some of special events Disney has to offer. Attend Early Morning Magic at one of the parks and enjoy having the rides to yourself. We did this for Toy Story land and the kids really enjoyed themselves without having to wait 4 hours for one ride. Book a dessert party at one of the parks. Not only do you get tasty desserts, but a fantastic spot to watch the fireworks. Star Wars was our favorite dessert party.
- Know how far to push them. I love getting our picture taken with the characters. However, the boys have very little patience for standing in a long line for this. My solution, characters meals! This way I get all my photos and the boys are not waiting in a line. This often made them more accepting when I did want to wait in a line for a certain character, say like, Scrooge McDuck!
- Build in some downtime. There were a couple of days that we did not go into a park. We hung out by the pool, relaxed in our room, and spent some time at Disney Springs. We usually are in the parks from morning to night. This was a nice change.
I hope these tips are helpful. As I mentioned, we have gone many, many times and each time I learn something new that will help improve our next trip. If you have some tips to share, please do so in the comments. I would love to hear them.
My Mom was a great Mom. She unselfishly gave all she had to her family. She never wanted to appear that she was a bother. Unfortunately, that may have been one of the reasons she hid her and ignored her symptoms for so long. Growing up, I don’t recall a time when she wasn’t there. When we were little she worked nights and we hung with Dad. Then she stopped working for a while to take care of us. When my baby sister went off to school, she worked part time to make a little extra money for herself. However, we were always her priority. She taught and raised us to be strong, independent women. We each took a different path than she did, but she instilled in us what was truly important in this life, family.
Then along came grandkids. As if she did not shine enough as a Mom, she sparkled as a Grammy. She was born for this role. When I was pregnant with Robbie, I had been researching daycares. I was planning to go back to work and was spending my time researching a good fit for my baby. Well, that boy wasn’t even 12 hours old and she marched into that hospital room and said “No grandchild of mine is going to daycare.” Ohhh.. okay then, Mom. She was not one you really wanted to argue with over certain things. At that moment, there grew a bond between her and her grandkids that will never be broken, even in death.
Robbie was her first. The moon and stars revolved around this child. He could do no wrong in her eyes. He adored her. For the first year of his life, she watched him 4 days a week. A year later, I started a new job and he went to “school” for a couple of days. She didn’t like that. LOL! Nicholas made his appearance 3.5 half years later. Again, she was willing to take him on, as she did Robbie. To help ease the work and because he really needed it socially, Robbie went off to pre-school and pre-k. Neither Robbie or my Mom was overjoyed at that. Both felt they were being ripped apart from each other. They got over it though. Well.. maybe… 🙂
I will be forever grateful for the bond my boys shared with my Mom. I will be forever grateful I had the honor to call her Mom.
What do you think when you hear the word “diet”? I can tell you what I think. I think of deprivation, temporary solution, not sustainable. Diets do not work because it usually involves in depriving ourselves of food, for a certain about of time, and as soon as the weight is gone, we go back to our old ways. What happens when we do that? The weight comes back! So what if, instead of going on a diet, you make it a lifestyle? By making it a lifestyle, you are implementing behaviors that you can stick to. Here are six tips to help you do that
- First, we are more than a number on the scale. The scale is a tool that we use, with all our other tools, to see progress. How about instead of being a slave to the scale, you go by how your clothes fit? Take your measurements and redo them once a month, every six weeks, or after you complete a workout program. Finally, take progress photos. Once a month I put on the same workout clothes and take a series of photos. I compare each month and see how I am doing. This right here tells me more than a number on the scale.
- Exercise regularly. It is true, you can’t outrun the fork, however exercise is so important. Exercise increases our energy levels. It helps reduce risk of chronic diseases. It aids in weight loss. Those who exercise, sleep better and have an easier time relaxing. It helps with brain health and memory. It makes us feel like a badass ;). Another important point about exercise, find something that you like and will stick to. If you hate running, do not commit to running 4 times a week. For example, I hate cardio, but LOVE to run. My workout routines involve strength training for the most part and my weekly miles. I am not going to stick to a routine that is all cardio.
- Eat healthy, whole foods that nourish your body. Food is your body’s fuel. It is not going to run properly if you feed it crap.
- Everything in moderation. No food or food group should totally be cut out of your life. Instead of simple carbohydrates, chose complex carbohydrates. This includes high fiber, whole grain breads, pasta, oatmeal, brown rice and sweet potato. Also, when you do have a treat, like Mom’s chocolate chip cookies (I make the best!), don’t feel guilty. Having a couple of cookies is not going to derail you. If you are eating clean 80-90% of the time, you can indulge and enjoy a treat. Notice I use the word treat and not cheat. Remember, this is not a diet. Cheats only happen on a diet.
- Drink half your body weight in water. For example, if you weigh 150lbs, you should be drinking 75 ounces of water a day. If you exercise, that number should be higher. By the time we start to feel thirsty, our bodies are already dehydrated. Water will help keep you full, clear up your skin and keep your body working properly.
- Learn to listen to your body. A good example of this. Every day at 3:00pm I need a snack. Or I think I need a snack. Sometimes, it is true, I am hungry and my body is sending me signals to feed it. However, there are other days this is simply not the case, yet I go to reach for something out of habit. I am putting something in my body unnecessarily. My being in tune with myself, I can stop the unnecessary snacking.
I hope you found this to be helpful. If you are looking for some help or support implementing these changes, I run a free Facebook group. It is a place where we lift each other up, cheer each other on and share ideas. Drop me a note, I would be happy to add you.
Whoa.. . is it just me, or did February go by in a blink of an eye? Of course this brings us to March. March is not a month I particularly enjoy, but I am making the best of it. Spring should be arriving in a few weeks and hopefully, we can see the end of the tunnel as far as winter goes around here.
A new month, brings new goals (or an attempt to complete ones from the prior month) and to review what we were able to accomplish in the prior month. In February, I had some pretty lofty goals. I was a bit concerned that I overextended myself, I had a 10 day vacation thrown in there, so I really had to be focused to get my stuff done. I don’t know about you, but the older I get, the more distracted I become. Some tasks take me twice as long as they did before. I am going to have to do some research on that and get back to you. Perhaps, a great idea for a new blog post. 🙂 In any event, in February, my goals were:
- Launch blog
- Finish Transform 20
- Set up my next online health and fitness group
- Read one personal development book and one book for pleasure
- Have a stress free trip to Disney with the boys
- Run 65 miles
- Organize kitchen cabinets
- Save additional money on top of what already goes into savings
I am happy to report, I accomplished all my goals except for the kitchen cabinets. This will get moved to March. I successfully launched the blog on February 14th. Is it perfect? No. Does it have everything it needs to run smoothly? No. However, the goal was to get the content out there and work on it as I go. There is no such thing as perfection, right? Everything is a work in progress. As you can see from earlier this week, I did finish Transform 20. I had great results and despite my intial reservations, I am glad I did it. What challenges us, makes us stronger. My online health and fitness group is up and running. As a side note, I have had some questions on that. Each month I run a free three week accountability group on Facebook. It is a place to go to log a workout and healthy meal. We support each other, build each up and no drama and judgment. If interested, send me a message and I will add you to the group.
Back to goals, I read one personal development book and one book for fun. My personal development book was the Go Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann. It was an interesting little read. The other book I read was The Good Sister by Jess Ryder. It was good. There were parts where is dragged, but I would give it a 3/5 stars. I achieved my running goal of 65 miles. I ran 3 races and it was a great month for running. Speaking of running, the reason the kids and I went down to Disney was so I could participate in the Princess race weekend. My goal was to have a stress free trip with my boys and I did! It was probably the best trip we have had down there, since they were little. More about that in a blog post to come. The last goal of saving money was met as well. Not a bad month.
This brings me to March. It is a pretty long month and there are no trips planned. This gives me time to concentrate on some organization projects. So, what are my goals for March? Here we go…
- Organize the kitchen cabinets
- Organize the linen closet
- Run 65 miles
- Become certified in a second nutrition program- Ultimate Portion Fix
- Implement a morning routine
- Read one personal development and one book for pleasure.
- GROW MY BLOG AUDIENCE. -For this goal I need YOUR help! I want to reach as many people as I can. If you would be so kind to share my blog, refer friends to my site, Facebook page, IG, etc. Once I get to 100 followers, I will be doing a give a away.
Now it is your turn. What are your March goals? I can’t wait to hear.
