The last couple of weeks my son, Robbie, and I have been on several college tours. Robbie is a junior and just recently, has shown interest in the whole college process. Last month he had met with his guidance counselor and had a chat about what he wanted to study. Now, up until this point, he had shown very little interest in college, at least to me. He mentioned 3-4 schools to his counselor and said he wanted to study sports management. After doing some research, we narrowed the list down a bit and made some appointments to see the schools.
Since mid-April, we have seen four schools and have three more on our list. This past weekend we were at a university up in New Hampshire for an open house and tour. It is a bit further away and slightly bigger than the other schools. However, from the moment he stepped on the campus, he seemed to fit in. He walked over to the mascot and had his picture taken.
He was engaged during the tour and had a great conversation with members of the sports management department. During our lunch, I asked him what he thought. He told me that this school is now his number one choice.
As we were walking back to the car, I could not help but smile and be excited about what lies ahead for him. At the same time, my eyes filled with tears and my stomach felt like it was in knots. You see, whether he attends this school or another, in a little more than a year, he will be gone. He will be off on this new adventure. It is was at this moment it became clear, he was never mine, to begin with, he was only on loan. I also realized the one thing no one told me when I became a Mom.
It is an exciting time ahead, but there will also be some tears along the way.
In less than a month’s time, the boys and I are headed down to Disney World for 10 days. It is winter break for the boys and Princess Weekend for me. The Princess Half Marathon was my first RunDisney event back in 2015. Since then I have ran Princess 3 times, Wine and Dine 3 times, Marathon weekend once and in April, I will be running the Star Wars races. Nothing compares to a Disney race. The entertainment on the courses is fantastic, the crowd support is amazing and I get to run down Main Street in the Magic Kingdom. It does not get more magical than that.
This year, as I mentioned, Robbie and Nicholas are coming with me. We are making a vacation out of it. At first, it was only Nicholas, but then Robbie decided to tag along. Both kids have been very blessed, in that Disney is a place they both have been to many, many times. Each trip is different and fun in its own way. With Robbie approaching the end of high school, I don’t know how many more of these trips he will take with us. With that being said, I have thrown in a few “extras” this trip, to really help make it a trip to remember. I booked a couple of the dessert parties, Early Morning Magic at Toy Story Land and After Hours at Animal Kingdom. Plus, we have lots of fun dining and plenty of days in the parks.
As I was planning this trip, it got me thinking. As we watch our children grow up, we always think about the “first time” they do something. We capture their first steps, first word, first trip to Disney, etc., but do we think about or capture the “lasts”. For example, when was the last time they held your hand crossing the street or the last time you went away as a family before their got too busy living their own lives. So my goal for this trip, as it was for our trip last summer to Europe, is to take it all in. Be present in the moment and enjoy these two special boys. I am blessed to be their Mom and I want to hold on to these days, their childhood, for as long as I can.
I recently attended a college planning night for my oldest son, Robbie. The school went over the college process and what to expect over the next 6-9 months. It was a bit overwhelming for me, I can only imagine how it must feel for my son. Applying to college is certainly different now than it was back in 1990! I don’t recall feeling the pressure that kids do today. However, I was also that child that knew, at age 16, what I wanted to do and how I was going to get there. This brings me to today’s post. I am going to talk about meeting your child where they are and letting go of unrealistic expectations.
My oldest is a mini me. We share a lot of the same personality traits. He is a smart boy, who maintained excellent grades all through grammar and middle school. Like me, school came easy to him. Then he started high school. He is in honors classes and has found the adjustment a bit difficult. He actually had to study. Again, I was the same way. However, unlike me, he is not a fan of school. He does what he needs to do to maintain over a 3.0, but is not something he looks forward to everyday. He has been recommended for AP classes, but chooses to stick with the honors classes. He does not enjoy reading and he knows a bulk of those classes have a heavy emphasis on reading. We have had many battles on this. I know he can do the work and I pushed and pushed. He pushed back. This made the first two years of his high school career painful, for the both of us. Here, I had a smart child. He was my first born. Aren’t all first born children suppose to be type A? (i.e. like his mother) Don’t all first born children know exactly what they want to do and how they are going to get there? (again, like his mother) I just could not understand it. Then one day I got it. We were in the car headed to school. We were arguing about something to do with school. As we pulled up to the door of the school, he quietly said “I am not you. I need to figure it out myself.” Those words hit me. He was absolutely right. Though we may be very similar, he is not me. He is his own person and I need to respect that. I need to acknowledge his strengths and weaknesses. I need to guide him and yes, still push him to do his best, but I can’t force him to do something he is not willing to do. Now, some may say, well yes you can. You are his parent and it is your job to push. My answer to that.. know your child. If you child can handle the AP classes, the pressure of being in 100 different clubs or sports, great. However, if you have a child that can handle it, but will be downright miserable in the process, what does that do for anybody. To be clear, I don’t mean just whining because they do not want to do the work. I mean they are so miserable, they hate everything about it, then no, I am not pushing what I want my son to do down his throat. Since, coming to terms with all this, his junior year has been a much better experience for both of us. He is still in honors classes and maintains a B average. He has started to talk about the future and where he may want to go when he graduates. Will it be the path I took? That is yet to be seen, but I do know one thing. Whatever path my Robbie Rob chooses, I am and always will be proud of the young man he has become.
Now that Nicholas Joseph is 13, we have all teenagers in the house. BTW, found this pic, wasn’t he just adorable??
Though it has been a couple of months, I thought I would share some thoughts on my baby turning 13. We have been down this path before. Our oldest, is 17 and almost done with his teen years. When Robbie turned 13, I thought I knew what to expect. Well, there are the expectations and then there are the realities.
Expectation – I have boys, so the teen years will be easier.
Reality- NO WAY! We still worry about the same things. Am I doing right by them? Am I screwing them up? Are they being tempted by drugs and alcohol? Will they kill themselves behind the wheel of a car? You get the point.
Expectation- Teenage boys are less moody than teenage girls.
Reality- Wrong again! I found my son to be as moody as I was as a teen and I expect nothing less from his brother. There are times I walk on eggshells because I just don’t know what mood he will be in when he wakes up or gets home from school.
Expectation- Buying clothes for boys is easier. Just purchase some jeans, shirts and sweatshirts, right?
Reality- My oldest is the world’s pickiest dresser. He will wear only crewneck shirts. No V-neck, no mock turtleneck, no half zip shirts, no jeans, etc. Taking him clothes shopping is painful. It is hardly a pleasant experience. Nicholas has not reached that point yet, thank goodness.
Expectation- They will reach a point where they will not want to hang with you.
Reality- I feel blessed in that both my boys still want to go places (for the most part) with me.
Expectation- They will eat me out of house and home.
Reality- They eat me out of house and home. :)These are just a few things I could think of off the top of my head, I am sure there are many more, but you get the point. Now, this could all change with number 2. Nicholas may be totally different. I have 5 whole years to figure it out
Welcome to the teen years baby boy. Momma loves you to infinity and beyond!
Guess where I was the Friday before Christmas? At a Geography Bee of course!! Nicholas earned one of 9 spots to compete in his school’s Geography Bee. The winner has the opportunity to compete at the state level.
It was an exciting competition. Each participant was allowed one incorrect answer. It came down to the final 3. Nicholas and a young lady were left to battle it out for a spot to compete against the other remaining contestant. The third contestant had not answered a question incorrectly, so he was automatically entered into the championship round. Nicholas and the young lady went back and forth, each answering correctly. Finally, she answered one wrong and it was off to the championship round. The first one to answer the best out of 3 wins and Nicholas did it! It was so exciting. Next up, taking the pre test to see if he qualifies for the state Geography Bee. Look how happy he looks.
It was a great way to end the year and start the Christmas break.
17 years ago today I became a Mama for the very first time. At 10:09 am, this 8lb 14 ounce, 21.5 inches long baby boy stole my heart. He was everything I had hoped and prayed for. He was perfect in every way.
It was not an easy entrance. My water broke at 5:30am on December 1st and he arrived via c-section on December 2nd. It was rough, but one look into his eyes and I melted.
It has been a busy few months for my boy. He passed his driver’s test and started his first job at a local hardware store. He has grown into a kind and funny young man. He has a passion for sports and, with this brother, could have their own sports talk show. Each and every day he makes me proud to be his Mom. I am excited (and anxious!) to see what the next couple of years will bring. Happy Birthday Robbie Rob. Mama loves you to Infinite and Beyond!
