For those of you following along, I have been sharing stories of my Mom all month long. It is my way of coping with what was to come… the 5th year anniversary of her death. Today, we gathered as a family, celebrated and remembered her. We usually get together for lunch or dinner, but this year we decided to take a ride to one of her favorite places, the beach!
My Dad, sisters, nephew, my boys and I took a ride down to the West Dennis, MA. As a kid, we use to rent a house there in the summer time. My Dad and sisters still make it part of their summer vacations. Like Mom, we all love the beach. There is something about the ocean that instantly makes us feel better. It is good for the soul. As my boys ran around with a football, I snapped some photos of my nephew and then had a bit of quiet time to reflect. There is so much that has happened over the last 5 years. There have been many milestones. There have been happy times and sad times, all of which have happened without her by our side. One thing is for certain, we as a family have become closer.
These are my people. These are the people that I love fiercely. These are the people, even when we don’t agree or see eye to eye, have my back. If any good came of her death, it was the bond that I have with my family.
Losing a parent is downright awful. Losing a parent in a matter of weeks after learning of a diagnosis was unbearable. I never knew such pain and unless one has gone through it, there is no way one can understand. I am just glad to have made it through another year.
My Mom was funny when it came to clothes and such. Growing up, she rarely spent money on herself. As we got older and starting buying our things, she started to do the same. She would see something that me or my sisters was wearing and go out and buy it. Oh and if it came in multiple colors, she would buy one of each. At any given time, you could check out her clothes line (yes she still used one) and see the same shirt in every color of the rainbow. One day my middle sister came by with a pairs of shoes. They were a type of sandal and she told Mom they were super comfy. Mom went out and bought herself a white pair.
That summer, my parents, kids and I took a week long trip to Washington, DC. We spent 6 days walking about town, taking in all the sites. My Mom wore the shoes everywhere.
She put some serious mileage on those shoes. Upon returning home, my sister, Kristen saw her in them. She said “Oh Jeanne, where did you get those moon shoes?” Well needless to say, we all thought it was funny, but Mom did not. We never saw those shoes again. LOL!
It’s the little stories like this, that help us keep it together during the month of March. This week in particular is rough. She was sent home with hospice this time 5 years ago. However, I am determined to remember the good vs the bad as the 24th of March comes upon us.
My Mom was a great Mom. She unselfishly gave all she had to her family. She never wanted to appear that she was a bother. Unfortunately, that may have been one of the reasons she hid her and ignored her symptoms for so long. Growing up, I don’t recall a time when she wasn’t there. When we were little she worked nights and we hung with Dad. Then she stopped working for a while to take care of us. When my baby sister went off to school, she worked part time to make a little extra money for herself. However, we were always her priority. She taught and raised us to be strong, independent women. We each took a different path than she did, but she instilled in us what was truly important in this life, family.
Then along came grandkids. As if she did not shine enough as a Mom, she sparkled as a Grammy. She was born for this role. When I was pregnant with Robbie, I had been researching daycares. I was planning to go back to work and was spending my time researching a good fit for my baby. Well, that boy wasn’t even 12 hours old and she marched into that hospital room and said “No grandchild of mine is going to daycare.” Ohhh.. okay then, Mom. She was not one you really wanted to argue with over certain things. At that moment, there grew a bond between her and her grandkids that will never be broken, even in death.
Robbie was her first. The moon and stars revolved around this child. He could do no wrong in her eyes. He adored her. For the first year of his life, she watched him 4 days a week. A year later, I started a new job and he went to “school” for a couple of days. She didn’t like that. LOL! Nicholas made his appearance 3.5 half years later. Again, she was willing to take him on, as she did Robbie. To help ease the work and because he really needed it socially, Robbie went off to pre-school and pre-k. Neither Robbie or my Mom was overjoyed at that. Both felt they were being ripped apart from each other. They got over it though. Well.. maybe… 🙂
I will be forever grateful for the bond my boys shared with my Mom. I will be forever grateful I had the honor to call her Mom.
I am going to kick off this first weekend in March with a story about my Mom. As I mentioned, we are coming up on the anniversary of death and I want to remember the happier times.
How many of you grew up with your Moms watching soap operas? I certainly did! My Mom was an avid fan of Days of Our Lives, Another World and then later on in life, General Hospital. Not only did she watch them, but she subscribed to the soap magazines as well. If you had a question about one of those shows, ask Mom, she would know! She was so funny about them too. She really got into the characters and had some pretty strong feelings about them. It would almost seem like they were real.
One of her favorite characters was Jason Morgan, from General Hospital. A few years back, Steve Burton., the actor that plays Jason, was coming to Boston to do a comedy show. I can’t remember who initiated it, but we all bought tickets, Mom, my two sisters and I, to his show. These were no ordinary tickets, but VIP tickets. After the show, we were to head back and have a meet and greet with Steve Burton.
Sorry for the quality of the photo. It was in a scrapbook, then was taken out for something and now hangs on the bulletin board in my kitchen. Anyway, all Mom could talk about after the meet and greet was how Steve said he loved her bag. It was too funny. One of many fun times we had with Mom.
Thanks for listening as I go down memory lane. It really does help.
February 28, 2014- Five years ago, Robbie and I were in Maine for a hockey tournament. I had left town knowing my Mom was being seen for a lump in her breast and other testing to see if the cancer had spread. I will never forget, standing in the lobby of the restaurant, taking a call from my sister. The cancer had indeed spread. It is was in her liver. It was stage 4. My mom got on the phone and we chatted for a few minutes. I never felt more alone or scared than I did that night. I did not want Robbie to know anything was wrong, so I wiped the tears and joined him and his team mates for dinner. Later that night, my friend Kim and her son, Daniel, would make the drive to Maine, so I would not feel so alone. I am forever grateful for that. That is true friendship.
So, why am I telling you all this? Well, as I mentioned, in the “About Me” section of this blog, my Mom’s death has been a major factor in a lot of the things I have done over the last few years. Losing her so young (only 61), made me realize how precious life is. We are only on this Earth for a very short time and no one knows when that time is up. We have to take chances, go for those dreams, live life to the fullest. Her death changed me.
Mom was diagnosed on February 28, 2014 and died on March 24, 2014. She was gone in less than a month. March was already a tough month for my family. We lost both my grandmothers and an uncle in the month of March. Now with Mom gone, March has become that much harder. I remember those weeks leading up to her death and how quickly she deteriorated. I remember crying myself to sleep and consoling my boys as they watched her slip away. I remember the pain on my Dad’s face, as he lost his one true love. In light of this, I thought I would try something new this year. I thought I would use this platform, and throughout the month of March, tell you a bit about my Mom and share my favorite things about her. I want to remember the happy this March and not the sad. So over the next few weeks, I hope you will join me and follow along, as I share my Mom with all of you. For those of you that knew her, I would love for you to share your favorite story about her as well.
In less than a month’s time, the boys and I are headed down to Disney World for 10 days. It is winter break for the boys and Princess Weekend for me. The Princess Half Marathon was my first RunDisney event back in 2015. Since then I have ran Princess 3 times, Wine and Dine 3 times, Marathon weekend once and in April, I will be running the Star Wars races. Nothing compares to a Disney race. The entertainment on the courses is fantastic, the crowd support is amazing and I get to run down Main Street in the Magic Kingdom. It does not get more magical than that.
This year, as I mentioned, Robbie and Nicholas are coming with me. We are making a vacation out of it. At first, it was only Nicholas, but then Robbie decided to tag along. Both kids have been very blessed, in that Disney is a place they both have been to many, many times. Each trip is different and fun in its own way. With Robbie approaching the end of high school, I don’t know how many more of these trips he will take with us. With that being said, I have thrown in a few “extras” this trip, to really help make it a trip to remember. I booked a couple of the dessert parties, Early Morning Magic at Toy Story Land and After Hours at Animal Kingdom. Plus, we have lots of fun dining and plenty of days in the parks.
As I was planning this trip, it got me thinking. As we watch our children grow up, we always think about the “first time” they do something. We capture their first steps, first word, first trip to Disney, etc., but do we think about or capture the “lasts”. For example, when was the last time they held your hand crossing the street or the last time you went away as a family before their got too busy living their own lives. So my goal for this trip, as it was for our trip last summer to Europe, is to take it all in. Be present in the moment and enjoy these two special boys. I am blessed to be their Mom and I want to hold on to these days, their childhood, for as long as I can.
