For those of you following along, I have been sharing stories of my Mom all month long. It is my way of coping with what was to come… the 5th year anniversary of her death. Today, we gathered as a family, celebrated and remembered her. We usually get together for lunch or dinner, but this year we decided to take a ride to one of her favorite places, the beach!
My Dad, sisters, nephew, my boys and I took a ride down to the West Dennis, MA. As a kid, we use to rent a house there in the summer time. My Dad and sisters still make it part of their summer vacations. Like Mom, we all love the beach. There is something about the ocean that instantly makes us feel better. It is good for the soul. As my boys ran around with a football, I snapped some photos of my nephew and then had a bit of quiet time to reflect. There is so much that has happened over the last 5 years. There have been many milestones. There have been happy times and sad times, all of which have happened without her by our side. One thing is for certain, we as a family have become closer.
These are my people. These are the people that I love fiercely. These are the people, even when we don’t agree or see eye to eye, have my back. If any good came of her death, it was the bond that I have with my family.
Losing a parent is downright awful. Losing a parent in a matter of weeks after learning of a diagnosis was unbearable. I never knew such pain and unless one has gone through it, there is no way one can understand. I am just glad to have made it through another year.
By now, I am sure you all have heard about the college admissions scandal being blasted across the news. Fifty some odd people, including two famous actresses, have been accused of handing out bribes to get their children into college. Well some say, including me, what else is new? This has been going forever. Ever wonder how the majority of children of famous people end up at really good schools? Coincidence? I think not. In any case, I am not writing today to bash wealthy celebrities. I am writing to talk about what the heck are we doing to our kids?
I am a mom of a 17 year old junior in high school. From the time he entered high school, heck even before that, there has been all sorts of talk about what he needs to do because it looks good on college applications. There is pressure for kids to be in honors/AP classes, play a sport every season, volunteer, join a club, get a job and the list goes on and on. The kids put the pressure on themselves, but as parents we seem to do a pretty good job of doing too. Heck, I am guilty of it. The first two years of his high school career was a lot of me telling him what do to. Not just guiding him, but tell him to do A, B & C. I was not letting him figure it out on his own. I was not letting him fall and make his own mistakes. I was doing him a disservice and driving us both crazy in the process! You can read more about what we struggled with here. https://lifeatmyownpace.com/lessons-in-motherhood/
It is no wonder these kids are being diagnosed with anxiety. It is no wonder these kids have such issues problem solving. As parents, we are there every step of the way holding their hand, not letting them fail. If we want to raise self sufficient, productive members of society we need to stop. We need to stop pushing them into doing things they don’t want to do and stop preventing them from failing. It is so much easier said than done. Believe me, I understand. However, in the long run, this is what is best for our kids. I am sure going to try my hardest, are you?
This past weekend my sister-in-law Tricia and I went into the Boston Flower Show. This was the first time either one of us had ever been. The show ran from March 13th -17th. A description of the show is below (taken directly from the website).
The Boston Flower & Garden Show is about inspiring, educating and motivating the region’s gardeners. Whether for curb appeal, backyard, kitchen, indoor, rooftop or community gardens, this is where New England’s green lovers go to discover new ideas while having fun with family and friends.
Colorful life-sized gardens and vibrant floral designs incorporate the newest design elements, examples of the popular and healthy food gardening trend ideas for adopting sustainable gardening practices and air-cleansing indoor plants. Included will be small-space gardens, homesteading hobbies, edibles-as-ornamentals and family and pet-friendly spaces for outdoor relaxation and entertaining.
This year’s Show theme is “The Beauty of Balance”, which is a key factor in design decisions, plant and material choices, and in cultivating the right-size garden for our lives and budgets. We explore the harmony we create within our gardens, vases and living spaces.
Though the show is over, you can still obtain information by going to https://bostonflowershow.com/.
Below are some photos I took of some of the displays and beautiful plants. It really put me in the mood for spring and I can’t wait to start my planting.
If you are looking for something to do, I highly recommend this next year. It was a great day out.
My Mom was funny when it came to clothes and such. Growing up, she rarely spent money on herself. As we got older and starting buying our things, she started to do the same. She would see something that me or my sisters was wearing and go out and buy it. Oh and if it came in multiple colors, she would buy one of each. At any given time, you could check out her clothes line (yes she still used one) and see the same shirt in every color of the rainbow. One day my middle sister came by with a pairs of shoes. They were a type of sandal and she told Mom they were super comfy. Mom went out and bought herself a white pair.
That summer, my parents, kids and I took a week long trip to Washington, DC. We spent 6 days walking about town, taking in all the sites. My Mom wore the shoes everywhere.
She put some serious mileage on those shoes. Upon returning home, my sister, Kristen saw her in them. She said “Oh Jeanne, where did you get those moon shoes?” Well needless to say, we all thought it was funny, but Mom did not. We never saw those shoes again. LOL!
It’s the little stories like this, that help us keep it together during the month of March. This week in particular is rough. She was sent home with hospice this time 5 years ago. However, I am determined to remember the good vs the bad as the 24th of March comes upon us.
Did you know that approximately 60% of Americans get the Sunday blues? Did you also know that Sunday is the least favorite day of the week. I think part of the reason is that we are so overscheduled, we have so much to do Monday-Friday, that it can be overwhelming just thinking about. From personal experience, at around 3-3:30pm, I would start to feel anxious about the week ahead. I hated that feeling. Now for the record, it has nothing to do with my job. I actually like what I do and enjoy (for the most part) going into the office. Though, I fully acknowledge that this is the reason for a lot of people. It was all the other stuff during the week that would cause me anxiety. About a year or so ago, I decided I needed to start my week planned, organized and refreshed! After following through and doing this for awhile, it resulted in a more productive week and less chaos in my life. Below are 6 things to do on Sundays for a productive week ahead.
Meal Prep
- There is nothing worse than coming home and hearing, “What’s for dinner?” and having no idea. This tends to lead to either take out or quick, not so healthy options. Every Sunday, I sit down and plan all my meals for Monday-Thursday. Fridays I work from home and eat what every left overs I have for breakfast and lunch. We also tend to order out on Fridays. In addition to planning my meals, I cook batches of veggies, some sort of protein (usually chicken) and a grain. This serves as my lunch. I also make eggs cups for breakfast or have my Greek yogurt already portioned out.
Laundry
- I make sure all the laundry is done for myself and the children. This way I am not washing something at 10:00pm on a Tuesday night. I can’t say it all gets put away, but it is clean!
Schedule your workouts
- Exercise is non negotiable for me. It is how I deal with the stress of the week. My days are much more productive, I have more energy and feel so much better about myself when I exercise. However, there are times when I have let it slip and let other things get in the way of me getting it done. This is why I look at the week ahead and put it in my planner. It is like any other appointment.
Write your to-do list
- On Sunday evenings, I sit down with my planner and write down my to-do list. This is a general list of everything I need to accomplish that week. It does not mean I am doing everything on Monday. I take the list and assign a day of the week to do each thing.
Self-Care
- Take the time to do something for you. Take a bath, read a book, go for a walk, play outside the kids.
Sleep
- I know it is tempting to stay up late, but go to bed early. Starting the week off with proper sleep is essential.
I hope you find this helpful. Try it for a couple of weeks and let me know how it goes. Have a great week!
Before we dive into today’s post, I wanted to let you now I have been featured at https://planningaway.com/ go check it out.
I listen to a really cool podcast called “Best of Both Worlds”. It is hosted by two working moms, Laura Vanderkam and Sarah Hart Unger. Laura is an author and time management expert. Sarah is a physician and blogger. The podcast talks about balancing work and family. Each week they bring a new subject to discuss, along with a segment called Love of the Week. They, along with their guest, discuss something they are loving at the moment. It is actually my favorite part of the podcast. I love it so much, I thought I would incorporate it into this blog.
I love receiving packages in the mail, but I really love runner’s swag! I invested in a new training plan for my fall races. I listen to another podcast, Another Mother Runner. AMR offers a variety of training plans and I am always looking for a way to improve my running. I chose their heart rate training plan. My actually training starts in May, so be sure to check back as I will be posting about my journey. In any event, for purchasing one of their plans, I was sent some runner’s swag. It is filled with lots of goodies, including some of my favorites.
The package includes some fuel (can’t wait to try the waffle), my favorite brand of socks, Balega, some laundry detergent, another favorite of mine, NUUN and a cute bumper sticker. It is so much fun to receive things like this in the mail. You also have to appreciate companies and/or organizations that do this. A big shout out to Another Mother Runner.
How about you? Have you received anything fun in the mail lately? Just so you know, once I reach 100 subscribers I will be doing my own giveaway. So make sure you subscribe and have all your friends subscribe as well.
We are just about halfway through March and Spring is a mere 7 days away. For this girl, it can’t come soon enough! After spending time in Florida, I am looking forward to the warmer weather. I am looking forward to seeing green grass, the buds on the trees and the flowers starting to bloom. It is time where summer vacation plans are set in stone and thoughts of longer days makes me happy. With the change of each season, I sit down and make what I call a Seasonal Bucket List. It is a list of all the things I would like to do or see during that particular season. The list is a great way to have some ideas for family time on weekends, a night out on the town or an afternoon with the girls. As I sit here today, here are a few of the things I am putting on my Spring Bucket List.
- Planting flowers around the yard.
- Taking the dog to the beach to play.
- Family day exploring Boston.
- Spending the afternoon on Castle Island.
- Running a few races in the warmer temps.
What about you? What do you want to do this Spring? Put it down on paper, stick it on your fridge and look at it when you need some ideas. Happy list making!
Self-care seems to the be the buzz word these days. There are numerous articles written about it, podcasts that speak of it and whole books dedicated to the topic. I have to admit, at first I ignored it. I thought, who has time for that? I am a working mom, with a husband, two kids, a dog, two cats and a household to run. I will have time for that when they grow up, move out, etc. I am sure many of you have had the same thought. Well I am here to tell you, LISTEN UP, by incorporating self-care into your life, you suddenly have more energy to do the things listed above and you are a HAPPIER, yes I said HAPPIER, wife, mom, employer, etc.
First, what is self-care? According to the the dictionary it is “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health or the “practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress. ” This means different things for different people. My idea for self-care could be very different than your idea of self-care. What makes me happy, improves my health or helps me deal with stress looks different than my husband’s. I make it a priority to incorporate self-care each and every day. Some days it is 10 mins, other days it is longer. Some days it is reading a great book for 10 mins, other days, it is a 10 mile run. I schedule a massage every month and really working on getting more sleep. Below are some ways you can incorporate self-care into your day.
- Wake up 15 mins earlier each day and enjoy some quiet time. Journal about how you want your day to go or meditate.
- Take a walk outside. Just 10 mins of being outside can lift our mood and energize us for the rest of the day.
- Take a bath. I recommend using some epsom salt with lavender.
- Read a good book. Take 15 mins and read a chapter or two.
- Treat yourself to a massage or a mani/pedi.
- Exercise and make sure it is something you enjoy.
- Find a hobby and carve out some time each week to dedicate to the hobby.
- Limit social media. Much of social media is a highlight reel of our lives. Studies have shown it can cause others to feel bad about themselves and have negative thoughts.
- Sleep! This is one I struggle with, yet it is so important. I have been trying to up my bedtime by 10-15 mins. Some nights are easier than others.
I hope these suggestions help. When we take time to refill our cups, everyone in our lives benefit from it.
My Mom was a great Mom. She unselfishly gave all she had to her family. She never wanted to appear that she was a bother. Unfortunately, that may have been one of the reasons she hid her and ignored her symptoms for so long. Growing up, I don’t recall a time when she wasn’t there. When we were little she worked nights and we hung with Dad. Then she stopped working for a while to take care of us. When my baby sister went off to school, she worked part time to make a little extra money for herself. However, we were always her priority. She taught and raised us to be strong, independent women. We each took a different path than she did, but she instilled in us what was truly important in this life, family.
Then along came grandkids. As if she did not shine enough as a Mom, she sparkled as a Grammy. She was born for this role. When I was pregnant with Robbie, I had been researching daycares. I was planning to go back to work and was spending my time researching a good fit for my baby. Well, that boy wasn’t even 12 hours old and she marched into that hospital room and said “No grandchild of mine is going to daycare.” Ohhh.. okay then, Mom. She was not one you really wanted to argue with over certain things. At that moment, there grew a bond between her and her grandkids that will never be broken, even in death.
Robbie was her first. The moon and stars revolved around this child. He could do no wrong in her eyes. He adored her. For the first year of his life, she watched him 4 days a week. A year later, I started a new job and he went to “school” for a couple of days. She didn’t like that. LOL! Nicholas made his appearance 3.5 half years later. Again, she was willing to take him on, as she did Robbie. To help ease the work and because he really needed it socially, Robbie went off to pre-school and pre-k. Neither Robbie or my Mom was overjoyed at that. Both felt they were being ripped apart from each other. They got over it though. Well.. maybe… 🙂
I will be forever grateful for the bond my boys shared with my Mom. I will be forever grateful I had the honor to call her Mom.
Whoa.. . is it just me, or did February go by in a blink of an eye? Of course this brings us to March. March is not a month I particularly enjoy, but I am making the best of it. Spring should be arriving in a few weeks and hopefully, we can see the end of the tunnel as far as winter goes around here.
A new month, brings new goals (or an attempt to complete ones from the prior month) and to review what we were able to accomplish in the prior month. In February, I had some pretty lofty goals. I was a bit concerned that I overextended myself, I had a 10 day vacation thrown in there, so I really had to be focused to get my stuff done. I don’t know about you, but the older I get, the more distracted I become. Some tasks take me twice as long as they did before. I am going to have to do some research on that and get back to you. Perhaps, a great idea for a new blog post. 🙂 In any event, in February, my goals were:
- Launch blog
- Finish Transform 20
- Set up my next online health and fitness group
- Read one personal development book and one book for pleasure
- Have a stress free trip to Disney with the boys
- Run 65 miles
- Organize kitchen cabinets
- Save additional money on top of what already goes into savings
I am happy to report, I accomplished all my goals except for the kitchen cabinets. This will get moved to March. I successfully launched the blog on February 14th. Is it perfect? No. Does it have everything it needs to run smoothly? No. However, the goal was to get the content out there and work on it as I go. There is no such thing as perfection, right? Everything is a work in progress. As you can see from earlier this week, I did finish Transform 20. I had great results and despite my intial reservations, I am glad I did it. What challenges us, makes us stronger. My online health and fitness group is up and running. As a side note, I have had some questions on that. Each month I run a free three week accountability group on Facebook. It is a place to go to log a workout and healthy meal. We support each other, build each up and no drama and judgment. If interested, send me a message and I will add you to the group.
Back to goals, I read one personal development book and one book for fun. My personal development book was the Go Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann. It was an interesting little read. The other book I read was The Good Sister by Jess Ryder. It was good. There were parts where is dragged, but I would give it a 3/5 stars. I achieved my running goal of 65 miles. I ran 3 races and it was a great month for running. Speaking of running, the reason the kids and I went down to Disney was so I could participate in the Princess race weekend. My goal was to have a stress free trip with my boys and I did! It was probably the best trip we have had down there, since they were little. More about that in a blog post to come. The last goal of saving money was met as well. Not a bad month.
This brings me to March. It is a pretty long month and there are no trips planned. This gives me time to concentrate on some organization projects. So, what are my goals for March? Here we go…
- Organize the kitchen cabinets
- Organize the linen closet
- Run 65 miles
- Become certified in a second nutrition program- Ultimate Portion Fix
- Implement a morning routine
- Read one personal development and one book for pleasure.
- GROW MY BLOG AUDIENCE. -For this goal I need YOUR help! I want to reach as many people as I can. If you would be so kind to share my blog, refer friends to my site, Facebook page, IG, etc. Once I get to 100 followers, I will be doing a give a away.
Now it is your turn. What are your March goals? I can’t wait to hear.
